So I have been thinking for some time now that as you grow up it become increasingly difficult to love and be loved by someone. Now Im not talk about infatuation and that cutsy shit where you imagine cupid as a baby with a bow and arrow...
and while were are on that topic lets discuss what would happen, shall we? Baby- likes to suck on things and put stuff in their mouth + sharp pointy arrows= a bloody mess. Not a pretty picture, and I recomend you think of it more like the Greeks, a giant massive serpent that will consume you and drive you insane!
But I digress to my former argument...the older you get the more complicated love becomes by exponential powers. Let me explain this a little more clearer:
When I was a kid all I had to do was to go up to my mother and say "Mumu i wuv yu" and she would immediately show you with praise and love and affection. This is usually true, even if you are a second or third child. On Mother's day all you had to do was paste a picture of some other random mess (macaroni and glue anyone?) onto a paper plate and she would magically give you a hug and kiss. Easy-peasy.
Moving forward a little, Elementary school. Remember Valentine's day? You had to bring cupcakes for the whole class and you were sure to save the best one for your best friend (boy or girl) and maybe one for the teacher. But everyone HAD to bring cards for everyone. Not bad, you could even enjoy some of those hard peppermint candies. But what if you were one of those kids who didnt get and cards? Well you felt left out didn't you? Still, it was easy compared to what came next.
Jr. High and High school: The time of life when your social insecurity was the greatest and yet most of you still found a date for Sadee Hawkins. The single carnation for your special one and the others for friends. But there is nothing that screws with insecurity and validation like seeing everyone get something and you dont even get one from yourself. Why? Something, you think, must be wrong with you? But you dont even think about it. You just keep trucking. Ok so you've survived the land mines of High school. Getting to love someone and visa versa is getting harder, the field is getting more selective and youre running out of time. Now what?
Well, you're ready for college. Endless sporting events and beer can only help you so much. Now's the time to experiment with your dating techniques. Chat up women. Easy. Pretend you aren't looking for a good time. You dont even care that you're here. Pretend you know something about some random obscure thing: Maybe you're a wine snob....spout off some facts about Pinot gregio. Oh shit her father owns a vineyard? Walk away, quick! Don't shoot yourself in the foot! Oh God she's following you. Run RUN!!!! Oh wait, she's inviting you to her dad's vineyard? Well maybe the free wine tasting wont be so bad? Ok she's giving you her number. You promise to call her.
You better call her.
Then you go on an outing, or like an official date...pray you dont embarrass yourself. Or, you know what fuck it! Embarrass the hell out of yourself! Make her laugh her ass off. You remember that time your best friend in high school convinced you to enter a pie eating contest and you had already filled up on pop corn...go with that. Or something else.
God this is complicated. What happen to the days you used to be able to say I love you to a girl and she would melt like butter?
Tuesday, November 6, 2012
Monday, November 5, 2012
Missing photo link
So Ive been trying to figure out for a while, how can I post a photo here on blogger. Its actually really stupid because usually you will post something like [img]something.html[/img] and poof you have yourself a shiny new photo posted up. Ive even opted to using photo bucket but so far all that happens for me is that it looks exactly like that example on the actual blog viewer page. None the less I will remain resiliant and attempt to post a meme which I created myself to promote sex awareness...so hold on to your garters ladies, here we go.
Hahahaa!!! I will now rule the internet with my funny commentary on things like Tuxedo Mask!!! Now my minions you will serve your master wiser and...ahem I mean you will assist me in doing some meaningless tasks. Isnt that right?
Well anyway now I have figured out how to post pictures...and Im kind of angry at myself that I couldnt figure out how to before...there is an actual "coding" button now. >:\ bitches
Well anyway now I have figured out how to post pictures...and Im kind of angry at myself that I couldnt figure out how to before...there is an actual "coding" button now. >:\ bitches
Mmm...Coffee yeah
Goooooood MORNING VIET NAM! Haha, just kidding. Im Amrican. Have yall ever woken up on the day that day light savings ends and felt 'uhgh still not enough sleep'? I have. I swear that going back an hour we all loose time. It happens every single year. And every year I argue with a friend or family member on what the savings actually mean. This year though I am figuring out that I can get a bigger savings by groupon-ing.
Of course Im being completely facitious. Mmm, this morning I have had breakfast for the first time since my froshman year in highschool. Crazy, am I right? I mean, it shouldn't have to take getting up at 4 in the morning just to have a decent morning meal...Perhaps this explains my poor grades in high school? Maybe....Well perhaps I exagerate the time frame. I did eat the Summer of '11. Ahh, good times. Amazingly that summer I dropped like 20 lbs. go figure. Anyway, Ive decided to return to that frame of mind, waking up at the crack of 4 AM and preparing my breakfasts. No more will I repeat the days of purchasing my meals at Starbucks. As much as I love them, I rue devouring their delicious 1000 cal. snacks as a substitutione. And lets just over look the 900 cal drunks...I mean drinks...no lets leav it. The 900 cal drunks...because caffeine is a drug. And if you go to Starbucks daily, lets face it, you're a drug addict.
So anyway yeah, Im feeling pretty great for eating breakfast.
Of course Im being completely facitious. Mmm, this morning I have had breakfast for the first time since my froshman year in highschool. Crazy, am I right? I mean, it shouldn't have to take getting up at 4 in the morning just to have a decent morning meal...Perhaps this explains my poor grades in high school? Maybe....Well perhaps I exagerate the time frame. I did eat the Summer of '11. Ahh, good times. Amazingly that summer I dropped like 20 lbs. go figure. Anyway, Ive decided to return to that frame of mind, waking up at the crack of 4 AM and preparing my breakfasts. No more will I repeat the days of purchasing my meals at Starbucks. As much as I love them, I rue devouring their delicious 1000 cal. snacks as a substitutione. And lets just over look the 900 cal drunks...I mean drinks...no lets leav it. The 900 cal drunks...because caffeine is a drug. And if you go to Starbucks daily, lets face it, you're a drug addict.
So anyway yeah, Im feeling pretty great for eating breakfast.
Thursday, November 1, 2012
In Fluenza
So it seems to me that many people are starting to get sick, just as the weather is turning--for some--the most enjoyable. This includes myself. But I am really dissappointed because getting sick is the least favorable thing of fall and winter.
And with all Hallows Eve just behind us, I know most people are looking ahead to Thanksgiving. So lets all discuss certain ways in which we can avoid the Flu.
Starting off our crazy count down:
10. Actually get the flu shot.
You all should do this, even if you think it contains nothing but mind control hormones.
9.Run away from it like its a zombie
Statistics show that a regiment of daily exorcize will actually help the immune system by strengthening the heart
8.Drink the greater lakes
Evidence shows that a large intake of liquids will speed up your recovery if you do get sick. So drink up.
7.Invest money in Chevron
Aiding large petroleum companies helps speed along the process of making vaor rubs. Plus that extra cash return could always help...
6.Plan a trip to Florida
Yes, it is just as cold in the Sunshine state but consider the fact the Florida is also the Orange capitol of the United States. Mmm all the vitamin C
5.Get more sweet meats
David Katz, MD says that eating more brightly colored fruits high in anti-oxidents will boost your immune system naturally.
4.Get down with the sickness
Consuming probiotic bacteria not only helps to keep your intestines running smoothly but they also crowd the immune system, making the chance of viruses and other bacteria taking hold a thing of the past.
3.Take the Dawn challenge
Often, washing your hands (fore 20 seconds) is the most effective way of combating germs. If you cant do this one you should buy those mini hand-sanitizers (alcohol based). They are inexpensive if you get them at a 99 cent store.
2.Say yes to the Clean air innitiative
There is evidence that when someone sneezes the air around them is imbued with germs. So you should turn your head away from them for at least 10 seconds.
And the number one tip for not gettings sick?
1.Drink beer and have sex with your sweet heart
In one study, non-smokers who drank beer a few times a week were less likely to get sick.
And in another study, from Wilkes University in Pennsylvania, said that students who had sex more often had more of the germ fighting antigen Immunoglodulin A. So get out there tiger and go get 'em.
And with all Hallows Eve just behind us, I know most people are looking ahead to Thanksgiving. So lets all discuss certain ways in which we can avoid the Flu.
Starting off our crazy count down:
10. Actually get the flu shot.
You all should do this, even if you think it contains nothing but mind control hormones.
9.Run away from it like its a zombie
Statistics show that a regiment of daily exorcize will actually help the immune system by strengthening the heart
8.Drink the greater lakes
Evidence shows that a large intake of liquids will speed up your recovery if you do get sick. So drink up.
7.Invest money in Chevron
Aiding large petroleum companies helps speed along the process of making vaor rubs. Plus that extra cash return could always help...
6.Plan a trip to Florida
Yes, it is just as cold in the Sunshine state but consider the fact the Florida is also the Orange capitol of the United States. Mmm all the vitamin C
5.Get more sweet meats
David Katz, MD says that eating more brightly colored fruits high in anti-oxidents will boost your immune system naturally.
4.Get down with the sickness
Consuming probiotic bacteria not only helps to keep your intestines running smoothly but they also crowd the immune system, making the chance of viruses and other bacteria taking hold a thing of the past.
3.Take the Dawn challenge
Often, washing your hands (fore 20 seconds) is the most effective way of combating germs. If you cant do this one you should buy those mini hand-sanitizers (alcohol based). They are inexpensive if you get them at a 99 cent store.
2.Say yes to the Clean air innitiative
There is evidence that when someone sneezes the air around them is imbued with germs. So you should turn your head away from them for at least 10 seconds.
And the number one tip for not gettings sick?
1.Drink beer and have sex with your sweet heart
In one study, non-smokers who drank beer a few times a week were less likely to get sick.
And in another study, from Wilkes University in Pennsylvania, said that students who had sex more often had more of the germ fighting antigen Immunoglodulin A. So get out there tiger and go get 'em.
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